The vice-president's tongue is several time zones ahead of his brain. Christopher Buckley More Quotes by Christopher Buckley More Quotes From Christopher Buckley That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong. Christopher Buckley argument smoking arguing The best advice on writing I've ever received was from William Zinsser: 'Be grateful for every word you can cut.' Christopher Buckley grateful cutting writing How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as prelude to disaster? Christopher Buckley prelude disaster awful I'm a Republican, but I find Nancy Pelosi very attractive. She hasn't done a single thing as congressman or Speaker of the House that has turned me on, but I find her quite okay. Christopher Buckley republican done house Who knew, in 2000, that compassionate conservatism meant bigger government, unrestricted government spending, government intrusion in personal matters, government ineptitude, and cronyism in disaster relief? Who knew, in 2000, that the only bill the president would veto, six years later, would be one on funding stem-cell research? A more accurate term for Mr. Bush's political philosophy might be incontinent conservatism. Christopher Buckley cells government philosophy Who needs evidence when you've got the Internet? Christopher Buckley evidence internet needs Nothing raises the national temperature more than a VACANCY sign hanging from the colonnaded front of the Supreme Court. Christopher Buckley vacancy temperature court I think that every man is afraid of his wife. Christopher Buckley wife men thinking And each year now Christopher Buckley stars past years Christopher Hitchens is the greatest living essayist in the English language. Christopher Buckley essayists english-language language I looked at Mum and realized -- twang! -- that she was telling an untruth. A big untruth. And I remember thinking in that instant how thrilling and grown-up it must be to say something so completely untrue, as opposed to the little amateur fibs I was already practiced at -- horrid little apprentice sinner that I was --like the ones about you'd already said your prayers or washed under the fingernails. Yes, I was impressed. I too must learn to say these gorgeous untruths. Imaginary kings and queens would be my houseguests when I was older. Christopher Buckley queens kings prayer E-mails are the new herpes: You never get rid of them. Christopher Buckley herpes mail One realization does dawn upon the death of the second parent, namely that you've now moved into the green room to the River Styx. You're next. Christopher Buckley parent rivers rooms Reading any collection of a man's quotations is like eating the ingredients that go into a stew instead of cooking them together in the pot. You eat all the carrots, then all the potatoes, then the meat. You won't go away hungry, but it's not quite satisfying. Only a biography, or autobiography, gives you the hot meal. Christopher Buckley reading giving men Oil they would buy from anyone. From Satan. Christopher Buckley satan oil We live - on a spinning planet in a world of spin. Christopher Buckley planet live spinning world My dad's one true quest in life was for the Platonic ideal of peanut butter. And I remember one day he announced, with a look of utter transfiguration on his face, that he had found paradise on Earth in a jar with a yellow cap. And it was called Red Wing. Christopher Buckley face day yellow life With real estate, it's location, location, location. In public speaking, it's acoustics, acoustics, acoustics. Christopher Buckley public real-estate location real At the senior prom for my Catholic boarding school, I was feeling manly, so I shaved, even though I didn't need to. Being inexperienced, I managed to slice a quarter-inch gash into my lower chin a half hour before I picked up my date. Christopher Buckley need feeling being school I was an only child with a lot of time to kill. I suspect a lot of writers are only children, or only children become writers because it's a way of being alone. Christopher Buckley alone child time children
