There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher: they exist only in romantic legend. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken The critic, to interpret his artist, even to understand his artist, must be able to get into the mind of his artist; he must feel and comprehend the vast pressure of the creative passion. H. L. Mencken passion creative artist A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion. H. L. Mencken rome self men The scent of frying astronomers long ago ceased to ascend to Yahweh. H. L. Mencken yahweh long-ago atheism The intelligent, like the unintelligent, are responsive to propaganda. H. L. Mencken unintelligent propaganda intelligent Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. He is like a watch of which the most that can be said is that its cosmetic effect is good. H. L. Mencken technology beautiful science The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe - that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent. H. L. Mencken horse cat gay What is too often forgotten is that nature obviously intends the botched to die, and that every interference with that benign process is full of dangers. H. L. Mencken nature danger forgotten Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother. H. L. Mencken women wife mother I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself. H. L. Mencken marriage two years The music critic, Huneber, could never quite make up his mind about a new symphony until he had seen the composer's mistress. H. L. Mencken symphony music mind During many a single week, I daresay, more money is spent in New York upon useless and evil things than would suffice to run the kingdom of Denmark for a year. H. L. Mencken new-york running years Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright. H. L. Mencken trembling stage fame Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again. H. L. Mencken wife sorry To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment. H. L. Mencken judgment morality hands The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers. H. L. Mencken competition paper television Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible. H. L. Mencken perseverance belief impossible It is only doubt that creates. It is only the minority that counts. H. L. Mencken minorities doubt One smart reader is worth a thousand boneheads. H. L. Mencken smart reader thousand If there had been any formidable body of cannibals in the country, Harry Truman would have promised to provide them with free missionaries fattened at the taxpayer's expense. H. L. Mencken harry-truman body country The two main ideas that run through all of my writing, whether it be literary criticism or political polemic are these: I am strong in favor of liberty and I hate fraud. H. L. Mencken hate strong running
