There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more. Roseanne Barr More Quotes by Roseanne Barr More Quotes From Roseanne Barr A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego. Roseanne Barr mommotherbeer I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form. Roseanne Barr powerfulrealart I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas. Roseanne Barr vegasconservative Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting. Roseanne Barr perfectionistbigspersonality I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust. Roseanne Barr zionistsocialistholocaust We're not meant to be parents when we're 50. Roseanne Barr meant-to-beparent I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.' Roseanne Barr goddesshatefun Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce. Roseanne Barr divorceinsightfulway I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do. Roseanne Barr comiclaughingpeople I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool. Roseanne Barr dinnergoalself I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three. Roseanne Barr californiatryingthinking I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did. Roseanne Barr parentwantfather I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself. Roseanne Barr husbandrealwriting To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes. Roseanne Barr disciplinemindwriting TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel. Roseanne Barr mommotherfather 'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking. Roseanne Barr hollywoodwinningmean You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have sheds full of things, maybe sometimes nine copies of the same thing. Roseanne Barr nineyearsfirsts Nobody wanted the "Roseanne" show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family. Roseanne Barr agentsfatsinterest To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian. Roseanne Barr bullsvegetarianfoolish Diets are a temporary solution to a permanent problem. Roseanne Barr solutionsdietsproblem
