There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979 Kinky Friedman More Quotes by Kinky Friedman More Quotes From Kinky Friedman How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? Kinky Friedman texas intelligent believe If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! Kinky Friedman limits justice firsts There is a difference between who is important and who is significant. Kinky Friedman significant differences important The child-teacher relationship is crucial. Kinky Friedman crucial teacher children I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation. Kinky Friedman situation results trying One thing we are sure of is there's no one like Nelson Mandela out there. That's too bad for us. Kinky Friedman nelson one-thing You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that. Kinky Friedman should forget thinking If you don't love Jesus-go to hell! Kinky Friedman hell ifs jesus That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians ran the country, it would be a much different place. We wouldn't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'd work late. Kinky Friedman government morning country I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting. Kinky Friedman literature suffering doubt The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime. Kinky Friedman texas people world Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but... Kinky Friedman bells i-hate hate A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. Kinky Friedman childhood worst preparation If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like. Kinky Friedman patient waiting long When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number. Kinky Friedman telephones numbers firsts Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other. Kinky Friedman accurate wells cat And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person. Kinky Friedman independent prayer school Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. Kinky Friedman possessiveness possessive remember If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm. Kinky Friedman arms trying hands You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you. Kinky Friedman smoking want world