This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels. Scott Adams car-rental wheels car It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism. Scott Adams careers criticism Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons Scott Adams wasting-time moron meetings I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. Scott Adams boss different years These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print. Scott Adams trends real book There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens. Scott Adams gray-area life-happens moral-behavior As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong. Scott Adams causes people way Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first. Scott Adams i-can mean firsts The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation. Scott Adams natural long world As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material. Scott Adams running long people Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams. Scott Adams proactive form team The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. Scott Adams computer cutting half Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything. Scott Adams execution design ideas As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws. Scott Adams doctors technology paws Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does. Scott Adams data writing science Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns. Scott Adams dog science knowledge Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions. Scott Adams office science thinking Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister. Scott Adams labs science thinking Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning. Scott Adams doctors coffee thinking If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%. Scott Adams boss drunk stupidity
