This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. Bill Maher More Quotes by Bill Maher More Quotes From Bill Maher Stupidity is not another form of knowledge. Bill Maher stupidity form Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign. Bill Maher cancer mother kids What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally. Bill Maher perfectly-good party men This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English. Bill Maher palin memoir week What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie. Bill Maher tyrants mad mean If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. Bill Maher cop ifs dog I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder. Bill Maher disorder hate thinking Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That's right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he's single! Bill Maher religious law children In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something. Bill Maher orange america thinking If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won't give you healthcare over someone who will, you need to have your head examined. Except you can't afford to have your head examined. Bill Maher citizens giving needs This Ted Cruz guy, I mean, he incurred the wrath, really, of his own party. They don't like him. Democrats hate him. Independents hate him. Republicans hate him. Even Miley Cyrus, he's the one guy she refuses to lick. Bill Maher party hate mean New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts. Bill Maher valentine nuts america Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it Bill Maher meat dog dirty Yes, in baseball when the team stinks, you fire the manager. But you don't fire him because it rains. And you don't let the opposing team choose a new manager for you. And you don't fire him between innings. And replace him with a Viennese weightlifter. Bill Maher team baseball rain Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry. Bill Maher california cutting light Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders. Bill Maher sacred gay numbers The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton. Bill Maher girl sex years Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge. Bill Maher president bridges mean I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it? Bill Maher schwarzenegger doe two Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow. Bill Maher white nurse house
