To miss out on joy is to miss out on the reason for your existence. Lewis B. Smedes More Quotes by Lewis B. Smedes More Quotes From Lewis B. Smedes When forgiveness is necessary, don't wait too long. We must begin to forgive, because without forgiving, we choke off our own joy; we kill our own soul. People carrying hate and resentment can invest themselves so deeply in that resentment that they gradually define themselves in terms of it. Lewis B. Smedes hate long people Not even God can make something fair out of what is intrinsically unfair. Only one thing can be done. Something must break through the crust of unfairness and create a chance for a new fairness. Only forgiveness can make the breakthrough. Lewis B. Smedes break-through forgiveness done Don't do it quickly, but don't wait too long... If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter's rights to our souls. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness rights long My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed - and each of the five has been me. Lewis B. Smedes wife different men The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain...Why do family feuds go on and on?...the reason is simple: no two people, no two families, ever weigh pain on the same scale. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness pain revenge When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving, and getting and giving again. Lewis B. Smedes dancing heart giving The rule is: we cannot really forgive ourselves unless we look at the failure in our past and call it by its right name. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness names past The only way to heal the pain which will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness heals the memory's vision. ... You set a prisoner free, but you discover the real prisoner was yourself. Lewis B. Smedes pain hurt memories Any moment that opens us up to the reality that life is good is a parable of the supreme end for which we were made. Lewis B. Smedes gratitude life-is-good reality Their pain [the injurer's pain at having injured you] and your pain create the point and counterpoint for the rhythm of reconciliation. When the beat of their pain is a response to the beat of yours, they have become truthful in their feelings...they have moved a step closer to a truthful reunion. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness pain feelings Kindness is the power that moves us to support and heal someone who offers nothing in return. Lewis B. Smedes support kindness moving We forgive freely or we do not really forgive at all. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness forgiving I am certain that people never forgive because they believe they have an obligation to do it or because someone told them to do it. Forgiveness has to come from inside as a desire of the heart. Wanting to is the steam that pushes the forgiving engine. Lewis B. Smedes forgiveness heart believe We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. Lewis B. Smedes shame-and-guilt shame guilty Because arrogance is born in personal vanity, arrogant people are driven without mercy. They can never get enough power to fill the soul's needs or enough respect to overcome the fear that they deserve less than they are getting. Lewis B. Smedes vanity soul people When we forgive someone, we do not forget the hurtful act, as if forgetting came along with the forgiveness package, the way strings come with a violin. Begin with the basics. If you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things you have forgotten about. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did; your memory keeps the pain alive long after the hurt has stopped. Remembering is the storage of pain. It is why you need to be healed in the first place. Lewis B. Smedes pain hurt memories The longer we hate, the harder it is to heal us. Lewis B. Smedes bitterness heal hate Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wronged, they are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us. Lewis B. Smedes keys memories past Our history is an inevitable component of our being. One thing only can release us from the grip of our history. That one thing is forgiveness. Lewis B. Smedes release inevitable forgiveness Forgiving is tough. Excusing is easy. What a mistake it is to confuse forgiving with being mushy, soft, gutless, and oh, so understanding. Before we forgive, we stiffen our spine and we hold a person accountable. And only then, in tough-minded judgment, can we do the outrageously impossible thing: we can forgive. Lewis B. Smedes impossible-things understanding mistake
