Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet. Craig Kilborn More Quotes by Craig Kilborn More Quotes From Craig Kilborn George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17 Craig Kilborn numbers hands thinking John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq. Craig Kilborn shoulders iraq hurt John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit. Craig Kilborn naked suits wife Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts. Craig Kilborn support gay people President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.' Craig Kilborn issues president sides There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.' Craig Kilborn embarrassing dollars moments The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News. Craig Kilborn swings news taken You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?' Craig Kilborn mars president water Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe? Craig Kilborn boeing flying believe This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.' Craig Kilborn saws campaigns messages John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle. Craig Kilborn found-someone als president Our top story, in 'Threat Matrix Reloaded' news ... Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Muller held a press conference today to announce that Al Qaeda is planning attacks somewhere inside the United States at sometime in the future. So go about your normal lives, but with a vague sense of foreboding. Craig Kilborn news united-states directors There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn't watch your brand new stolen TV. Craig Kilborn baghdad tvs people California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?' Craig Kilborn california four asking Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle. Craig Kilborn california eagles running Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?' Craig Kilborn simple doors years Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight. Craig Kilborn knights fields running I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone. Craig Kilborn scare police may Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoir has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern. Craig Kilborn shining personality sleep President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers. Craig Kilborn new-job president jobs
