Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy. Michael R. Burch More Quotes by Michael R. Burch More Quotes From Michael R. Burch What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card. Michael R. Burch comedian president running C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines. Michael R. Burch clothing-line chinese kids Love is either wholly folly, or fully holy. Michael R. Burch folly holy love-is Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination. Michael R. Burch perhaps-love destination world Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them. Michael R. Burch problem want people Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison. Michael R. Burch crazy winning mean Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people? Michael R. Burch best-job jobs people Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End." Michael R. Burch fans worship long I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide. Michael R. Burch graves political steps I'll not! Michael R. Burch gents spots way Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses! Michael R. Burch excess recess Epigrams delight us into wisdom. Michael R. Burch epigrams delight If God is good half the Bible is libel. Michael R. Burch libel half ifs If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it. Michael R. Burch levity wit soul President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who. Michael R. Burch president-obama president knows Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair apparent. Michael R. Burch party hair running Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out. Michael R. Burch wigs trump tough Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma. Michael R. Burch husband secret thinking Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon? Michael R. Burch halos christian mistake It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages! Michael R. Burch affair hell two