Try not to wake up on fire. Eugene Mirman More Quotes by Eugene Mirman More Quotes From Eugene Mirman If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044. Eugene Mirman overwhelminggivingneeds God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's. Eugene Mirman twelveboysyears I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did. Eugene Mirman tryingkidsthinking One of the things that's funniest about the entertainment industry and comedy is that people go 'Oh, you're great, but I don't know what to do with you.' The great thing about the Internet is that nobody has to figure out what to do with you. You can figure out what to do with you, and you can say, 'I made this thing, and I'm going to put it out, and now if people want to come see me and buy things from me they can.' Eugene Mirman entertainmentwantpeople The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball. Eugene Mirman oddballsdisorderschool Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street? Eugene Mirman our-townjerktowns Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory. Eugene Mirman eveningfakespecial When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it. Eugene Mirman peopleyearsthinking I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time. Eugene Mirman incomebelievethinking If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground. Eugene Mirman ifsreasonknows People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy. Eugene Mirman crazyfunmen School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful. Eugene Mirman meanchildrenschool I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something. Eugene Mirman fascinatedlogic It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party. Eugene Mirman cab-driversmusicparty Let's start anew. Life is goals - Purpose-Attempts - Struggle-Dreams and Accomplishmenties. It sounds confusing (my fault), but it's actually simple. Eugene Mirman simplestruggledream I was in Vancouver, and I was in what I was told was the poorest neighborhood in North America - which I find very hard to believe because has anyone here ever been to Detroit? Eugene Mirman detroitbelieveamerica I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon. Eugene Mirman egyptgamesbeach Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian. Eugene Mirman genuinecomedianamerica I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes. Eugene Mirman anecdotesrussiathinking For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It's absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view. Eugene Mirman viewsjobsthinking
