We need to receive empathy to give empathy. Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes From Marshall B. Rosenberg Any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Tragic, first because it decreases our likelihood of getting our need met! Even if we think it. And secondly, because it increases the likelihood of violence. That's why I'm suggesting any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Say the need! Learn a need-consciousness. Marshall B. Rosenberg suicidalcommunicationthinking All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful). Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationopportunitypeople In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationfeelingsneeds Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathylevelscommunication If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationpainpeople Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathyselfmean Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationpainsweet Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you. Marshall B. Rosenberg jackalscommunicationthinking If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationpeopleneeds I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking. Marshall B. Rosenberg yieldcommunicationlight We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationsatisfactionlooks The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationkeysfaces Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer. Marshall B. Rosenberg retributionnonviolent-communicationcommunication When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishmentcommunicationfocus Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathywaitingfeelings Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationpeopleneeds However impressed we may be with NVC concepts, it is only through practice and application that our lives are transformed. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationpracticemay When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg blockcommunicationthinking If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request? Marshall B. Rosenberg punishmentcommunicationtwo Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishmentcommunicationcompassion
