We're all animals, high school is animals, but some of us are more animal than others. Like in 'Animal Farm,' which I read, all animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others? Here in the real world, all equals are created animal, but some are more animal than others.

Ned Vizzini

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.

Ned Vizzini

sad depression life

That's all I can do. I'll keep at it and hope it gets better.

Ned Vizzini

get-better i-can can-do

So why am I depressed? That's the million-dollar question, baby, the Tootsie Roll question; not even the owl knows the answer to that one. I don't know either. All I know is the chronology.

Ned Vizzini

owl depression baby

I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.

Ned Vizzini

failure regret people

Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That's above and beyond everything else, and it's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.

Ned Vizzini

ice depression people

She doesn't want to end up like me. At least I'm giving someone an example not to follow.

Ned Vizzini

example want giving

I don't know how I can be so ambitious and so lazy at the same time.

Ned Vizzini

ambitious lazy know-how

Sometimes when you open a book, time stops.

Ned Vizzini

sometimes book

Ski. Sled. Play basketball. Jog. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy. Enjoy. Take these verbs and enjoy them. They're yours, Craig. You deserve them because you chose them. You could have left them all behind but you chose to stay here. So now live for real, Craig. Live. Live. Live. Live. Live.

Ned Vizzini

basketball real running

I'm smart but not enough--just smart enough to have problems.

Ned Vizzini

smart problem enough

Dr. Barney stared at me, his lips puckered. What was he so serious about? Who hasn’t thought about killing themselves, as a kid? How can you grow up in this world and not think about it?

Ned Vizzini

growing-up kids thinking

And I could have died right then. And considering how things went, I really should have.

Ned Vizzini

considering should should-have

Sometimes I just think depression's one way of coping with the world. Like, some people get drunk, some people do drugs, some people get depressed. Because there's so much stuff out there that you have to do something to deal with it.

Ned Vizzini

drunk people thinking

A person's relationship with food is one of their most important relationships.

Ned Vizzini

important-relationships important persons

I wanted to tell people, "My depression is acting up today" as an excuse for not seeing them, but I never managed to pull it off.

Ned Vizzini

acting today people

I had fooled myself into thinking that I was something important to the rest of the world.

Ned Vizzini

important world thinking

The absolute worst part of being depressed is the food. A person's relationship with food is one of their most important relationships. I don't think your relationship with your parents is that important. Some people never know their parents. I don't think your relationship with your friends are important. But your relationship with air-that's key. You can't break up with air. You're kind of stuck together. Only slightly less crucial is water. And then food. You can't be dropping food to hang with someone else. You need to strike up an agreement with it.

Ned Vizzini

keys depression thinking

I feel dead, wasted, awful, broken and useless. It's not the kind of feeling you forget.

Ned Vizzini

useless broken feelings

It’s tough to get out of bed; I know that myself. You can lie there for an hour and a half without thinking anything, just worrying about what the day holds and knowing that you won’t be able to deal with it.

Ned Vizzini

knowing lying thinking

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed.

Ned Vizzini

answers wish sometimes