Whamming someone smaller than oneself in order to teach that person civilized behavior is not within Miss Manners' concept of propriety, much less logic. Judith Martin More Quotes by Judith Martin More Quotes From Judith Martin Society cannot exist without etiquette ... It never has, and until our own century, everybody knew that. Judith Martin etiquette century One should not be assigned one's identity in society by the job slot one happens to fill. If we truly believe in the dignity of labor, any task can be performed with equal pride because none can demean the basic dignity of a human being. Judith Martin work jobs believe The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children. One has to keep having them, however, because it is incorrect to correct grown people, even if you have grown them yourself. Judith Martin fun children people It is one of Miss Manners's great discoveries that one needn't contradict others in order to set them straight. Judith Martin women discovery order The etiquette of intimacy is very different from the etiquette of formality, but manners are not just something to show off to the outside world. If you offend the head waiter, you can always go to another restaurant. If you offend the person you live with, it's very cumbersome to switch to a different family. Judith Martin family different world 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty. Judith Martin honesty names talking We are all born rude. No infant has ever appeared yet with the grace to understand how inconsiderate it is to disturb others in the middle of the night. Judith Martin rude grace night Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. Judith Martin morality teenager inspirational Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms. Judith Martin law missing people We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility. Judith Martin responsibility jobs men Generosity and gratitude are inseparably linked. Judith Martin generosity gratitude women People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contray, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules. Judith Martin differences mean thinking The etiquette business has its emergencies, heaven knows, but it is in the nature of etiquette emergencies that once one realizes what one has done, it is too late. One might as well get a good night's sleep and send flowers with an apology in the morning. Judith Martin good-night flower morning There is nothing like a good friend to help you out when you are not in trouble. Judith Martin friends good-friend helping everyone old enough to have a secret is entitled to have some place to keep it. Judith Martin entitled enough secret You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval. Judith Martin women accepting approval Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace. Judith Martin grace mistake wonderful Dishonesty is not the only alternative to honesty. There is also the highly underrated virtue of shutting up. Judith Martin women alternatives honesty When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation. Judith Martin insult mind people Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you're in a courtroom you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth; in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often. Judith Martin honesty rooms needs
