What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.

Amy Chan

Categorized in : Choices Breakup Growth

Spend less time shopping, more time traveling. by Amy Chan

Spend less time shopping, more time traveling.

more-time time-travel shopping

Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility. by Amy Chan

Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility.

chemistry guarantees doe

People will become what you think of them. See them for their beauty and they will rise up. See them for their darkness, and they will fall.

people fall thinking

Have things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.

focus crazy brain

There's a great difference between being positive and being delus... by Amy Chan

There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.

being-positive delusional differences

Sometimes, things need to come undone for better things to come t... by Amy Chan

Sometimes, things need to come undone for better things to come together.

together sometimes needs

Hold yourself on your own. A man's job in a romantic dynamic is not to be your butler, bank account or your father.

jobs men father

Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.

advice giving people

Strive to be authentic, not perfect. by Amy Chan

Strive to be authentic, not perfect.

not-perfect strive perfect

You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with.

attitude people way

You don't achieve greatness in life being surrounded by mediocre people with mediocre values. Choose your company wisely.

achieve greatness people

Get support and be surrounded by people who love you. Sit with the discomfort and the emotions instead of distracting yourself and numbing the pain, or it will just haunt you in another form in the future. Don't be afraid of the pain and darkness. There's information there. There's a lesson to be learned. You can use the experience as a catalyst for growth.

pain love-you people

Integrity is when your good intentions meet your actions - on a c... by Amy Chan

Integrity is when your good intentions meet your actions - on a consistent basis.

good-intentions action integrity

You cannot teach ambition. by Amy Chan

You cannot teach ambition.

teach ambition

You may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.

events stories may

I've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical tool of all: self-love. Now, if it doesn't work out with someone, sure, I'll be hurt. But I'll be bruised, not broken. And I may lose my balance, but I won't be wiped off my feet.

work-out broken hurt

If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spen... by Amy Chan

If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with.

knows want looks

Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. by Amy Chan

Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude.

gratitude choices attitude

Closing the door to toxicity is the most effective way to make sp... by Amy Chan

Closing the door to toxicity is the most effective way to make space for new opportunity.

space opportunity doors

I've learned that each time you go through a breakup, the pain isn't any more or less intense or hard, but the way you process and get back up can be different when you learn the tools to get yourself back to equilibrium. There are so many lessons that can be learned during times of heartbreak, and there's an opportunity to grow and become more emotionally healthy.

pain breakup opportunity