When all else fails there's always delusion. Conan O'Brien More Quotes by Conan O'Brien More Quotes From Conan O'Brien After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are - and I will eliminate them.' Conan O'Brien nobel-peace-prize putin hearing Earlier today, John McCain was in the news. John McCain gave his first press conference since the election. And he said, 'For a lot of people, Sarah Palin was an energizing factor during the campaign.' Unfortunately for McCain, those people are called Democrats. Conan O'Brien news campaigns people Today the Washington Post did an article; they compared the 2008 presidential election to the 1932 presidential election. They did a comparison, mainly because 1932 was the first time John McCain ran for president. Conan O'Brien presidential today firsts Los Angeles residents are going to vote on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes. Conan O'Brien medical marijuana cities California had its first medical marijuana job fair. Over 2 million people meant to show up. Conan O'Brien marijuana california jobs Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden's compound, which explains why bin Laden's last words were, 'Dude... ' Conan O'Brien marijuana lasts plant The group MoveOn.org has called on John McCain to release all of his medical records. In response, McCain told them, 'Why don't you just come down to the warehouse and look around for yourself? Bring a forklift, it'll take time.' Conan O'Brien records groups looks LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they made the factory too easy to take apart and rebuild somewhere else. Conan O'Brien legos somewhere-else moving The latest political rumor, North Korea ruler Kim Jong Il is close to naming his successor. Yeah, he said the only person with glasses big enough to replace me is Nicole Richie. Conan O'Brien korea glasses political North Korea conducted a nuclear test and the blast was so small that many scientists are saying it was a dud. Apparently, the nuclear bomb didn't work well because it was made in Korea. Conan O'Brien korea nuclear tests North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been awarded the highest rank in the country's military. The decision was praised by everyone from Parliamentary leader Kim Jong Un to opposition leader Kim Jong Un. Conan O'Brien decision military country North Korea threatened to launch a missile at South Korea. North Korea backed down after South Korea threatened to launch a sequel to 'Gangnam Style.' Conan O'Brien missiles korea style They say there are only two kinds of people on St. Patrick's Day: the Irish, and the people that drive them home. Conan O'Brien home two people Scientists have found a way to keep middle-aged female mice from going through menopause. Now they're working on a way to keep middle-aged male mice from buying expensive sports cars. Conan O'Brien males car sports California Marijuana farmers are worried that radiation from Japan could affect their crops. Or maybe for some strange reason they're just being paranoid. Conan O'Brien marijuana japan california Spread your hate. It'll last a lifetime. Conan O'Brien lasts hate lifetime Trump said that he hoped bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin Laden spent his last hour watching 'Celebrity Apprentice.' Conan O'Brien lasts wish looks The top 15 contenders for the Republican nomination own at least 40 guns among them. If we elect a Republican president no one is hopping over the White House fence ever again. Conan O'Brien gun white house In Texas a high school student was arrested for bringing what authorities thought was a bomb to school but turned out to be a clock. Now the kid is in bigger trouble for carrying a device that could bring Texas into the future. Conan O'Brien texas kids school Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump describes Chapter 11, "Back-to-back number ones!" Conan O'Brien chapters entertainment numbers
