When I couldn't get ahold of cigarettes, I'd roll coffee grounds into typing paper and smoke that and then vomit. Tig Notaro More Quotes by Tig Notaro More Quotes From Tig Notaro My age makes all my wrinkles and gray hair make sense. Tig Notaro wrinkles age hair I think every person and place is interesting, and there's an interesting story behind every door. Tig Notaro interesting thinking In standup, you don't have anything near you except a microphone. Tig Notaro microphones I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes. Tig Notaro members want mistake I worked at restaurants and coffee shops and babysitting and just whatever I could do to make money. Tig Notaro babysitting making-money coffee I talk about airplanes and things like that while my scars are on clear view. Tig Notaro clear-view airplane views I can't imagine just dusting my pants off and going about my life like, "Phew! I sure made it through a tough spot, now where am I headed?" I feel more of an obligation to be helpful. Tig Notaro helpful tough imagine When I got sick, it threw everything off course. Tig Notaro courses sick I didn't know what my fate was as far as being alive. Tig Notaro fate alive knows I think my brain just has a natural way of going to what would be the most insane thing, the least likely option. Tig Notaro insane brain thinking When I announced I had cancer on stage, it was my brain leaping to that insane moment of, "There's no way I could start a show saying, 'Hi, I have cancer!'" And also for me to have these scars, and then think, "Oh my gosh, what if I did stand-up and not even acknowledge that my shirt was off, or that I have scars. Tig Notaro cancer what-if thinking Everything's happened to me. Nothing can happen to me now. Tig Notaro happened happens In chaotic situations, I feel like I can take a breath and look around and assess the situation and see the big picture. Going through the traumatic time that I did in my life, that's also given me even more of a breather in life to just be like, "I know everything's going to be fine. Even if this is the worst show in the world, no matter what happens, everything's going to be fine." It's an accumulation of things. Tig Notaro big-picture worst world Everybody, male or female, needs to possess qualities that they expect others to uphold. Being aware of yourself and your actions allows you to assess your shortcomings in an honest way. Tig Notaro female quality action The ideal length of time for sex to last is the entire relationship, breaking only for snacks. Tig Notaro I always wonder, aside from even my name, what if my parents never split up? What if my mother never died? It swirls in my head all the time. Tig Notaro parent mother names I love drama - I would say more than I even love comedy - but I like in One Mississippi that I can go from a very moving moment to a Willy Wonka tube up my ass. I like the silliness as much as I like drama. Tig Notaro comedy drama moving In movies, you just see somebody close their eyes, and you go on to the next scene. Tig Notaro next eye goes-on A lot of times people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other. I think it would be highly unusual to find comedians who want to be at a loud, crowded party. Tig Notaro party crazy thinking I'd say I follow news and politics by far more. And music and documentaries I follow more than TV and film, and I think the way that I've avoided, I mean, people are astounded, even before I toured with a laptop, I would go and check into a hotel and it would never even dawn on me to turn the TV on. Tig Notaro entertainment
