When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. Albert Brooks More Quotes by Albert Brooks More Quotes From Albert Brooks When I was younger, I wasn't concentrating on good days. I was managing a career and trying to have a good year. It would always 'lead' to something, which never leads to anything except death, where everything leads to. And then as I got older, and then I had my kids and everything, I began to appreciate a great Wednesday. Albert Brooks good-years good-day kids Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life. Albert Brooks fear happiness life I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters. Albert Brooks kashmir sweaters weekend Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender. Albert Brooks glasses fun hands Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? Albert Brooks desperation insecurity world If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it. Albert Brooks magic want writing Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble. Albert Brooks dating trouble enough When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren't actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand. Albert Brooks insecurity couple class If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me. Albert Brooks life-and-death gone talking 'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up. Albert Brooks casting play thinking I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power. Albert Brooks disappointed given I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat. Albert Brooks coats fans stories I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's a calm night." Then I'd cross out night. It's noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies. Albert Brooks rain writing night I can't not put humor in a book. Albert Brooks i-can book Relaxation is the absence of worry. Albert Brooks absence worry relaxation All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other. Albert Brooks yelling comedy people I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it. Albert Brooks far-away like-you feelings I've always enjoyed stories that take place in the future but my one disappointment was that the future books described never came. We're not on other planets, there are no flying cars, and the only robots we have in our homes just sweep the floor. So I wanted to write about a future that I thought could really happen. People ask me when I tell them the title of the book, 'Are we all dead?' The good news is, no. We're still here. And I even think the future in my book is strangely hopeful, although I'm sure there will be people who strongly disagree. Albert Brooks disappointment home book Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president. Albert Brooks vote president thinking Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived. Albert Brooks best-person being-the-best persons
