When I was writing my column, I would almost always be recognized when I was in a restaurant, even if I was reviewing it and had booked under a fake name, so free stuff would start coming out of the kitchen on a conveyer belt, fantastic wines would be opened at my table. Now I can't even get a reservation on the pizza joint on the corner.

Toby Young

Categorized in : Restaurant Name Fake Pizza

People in London think of London as the center of the world, whereas New Yorkers think the world ends three miles outside of Manhattan.

three people thinking

I miss being fawned over by restaurateurs and chefs. by Toby Young

I miss being fawned over by restaurateurs and chefs.

missing chef

I was once hired to write a column for 'The Guardian' and then got fired before I'd submitted my first one. That was unusual. Most newspapers wait until I've written at least one piece for them before firing me.

pieces waiting writing

Everyone said to me growing up, "You're like an American. You have to go to America. That's your spiritual home."

growing-up spiritual home

I think I've been wishing for celebrity for so long that I've got used to being someone who's petitioning the establishment for acceptance... my whole schtick, my whole identity, is so wrapped up in being a petitioner that I don't really know how to react now that petition has been granted.

acceptance long thinking

It's very different doing a food show in America and doing one in Britain. I did a 20-part series for the BBC series called 'Eating With the Enemy.' The budget for all 20 episodes was probably the budget for a single episode of 'Top Chef.' It's the difference between making a home movie in your backyard and going to Hollywood.

differences home america

In Britain, by contrast, we still think that class plays a part in determining a person's life chances, so we're less inclined to celebrate success and less inclined to condemn failure. The upshot is that it's much easier to be a failure in Britain than it is in America.

play class thinking

You know when you tell a self-deprecating story at a dinner party, everyone's laughing along with you? But then when someone else repeats that same story at another dinner party you feel they're all laughing at you?

party self laughing

I think that magazines like Vanity Fair are still operating under the old rules, and that if you come to work for a magazine like Vanity Fair, even today, you're certainly expected to treat people like Peggy Siegal very deferentially.

vanity people thinking

I don't envy young Brits crossing the Atlantic to make their fort... by Toby Young

I don't envy young Brits crossing the Atlantic to make their fortunes today.

envy fortune today

I was every Londoner's stereotypical idea of a brash, vulgar American. When I got here, it turned out that London was the Wild West, and New York was like London at the height of the Victorian era, in which everyone was far more obsessed with table manners and status-climbing than they are in London. In London, everyone was just crawling over this blizzard of cocaine. Here, if you have more than a glass of wine with your meal, people refer you to Alcoholics Anonymous.

wine new-york ideas

The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my car... by Toby Young

The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan.

tiny careers successful

My life's ambition is to play a James Bond villain. I have the cat and the eye-patch, so I'm just waiting for the call. For some reason, though, the phone hasn't rung.

cat eye ambition

There's no reason why you can't deliver a grammar-school curricul... by Toby Young

There's no reason why you can't deliver a grammar-school curriculum to an all-ability intake.

curriculum reason-why school

Oddly, I do have a problem with authority. I find it very difficult to knuckle down and follow rules. Which are the classic symptoms of someone who has a troubled relationship with their father. And yet, I never had a problem with my father.

troubled-relationship down-and father

I tried being a mechanic and I tried catering, but I realized I had even less aptitude for semi-skilled labour than for academic work.

academic-work mechanic aptitude

America thinks of itself as a meritocracy, so people have more respect for success and more contempt for failure.

america people thinking

I've never been to a shrink. But my parents were very psychologically literate - my father had undergone Freudian analysis - and we often talked about other people in psychological terms, so I picked up a lot of that.

parent father people

I've become a professional failure - in order to pay the mortgage I have to remain unemployed. Luckily, a disaster always seems to befall me at exactly the right moment.

mortgage pay order

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.

humorous writing thinking