When my kids correct my cultural missteps, I sometimes suspect that they're not embarrassed, they're gleeful. Pamela Druckerman More Quotes by Pamela Druckerman More Quotes From Pamela Druckerman Optimism - even, and perhaps especially in the face of difficulty - has long been an American hallmark. Pamela Druckerman american face optimism long One of the maddening things about being a foreigner in France is that hardly anyone in the rest of the world knows what's really happening here. They think Paris is a socialist museum where people are exceptionally good at eating small bits of chocolate and tying scarves. Pamela Druckerman good eating people world I was scared to say I was in my 40s because at that point, it sounded really old, and to out myself as a middle-aged human - I felt very awkward about it. Pamela Druckerman old human say myself There's this idea in America that you can be whatever you want. That remains an ideal in terms of how you dress too - when you go shopping, you try on all possible selves and then decide. Pamela Druckerman dress try you shopping There's an American idea that you want to look as young as you can for as long as you can. If you can be mistaken for a teenager from behind into your 50s, then you've won; you've succeeded. Pamela Druckerman behind look you long I'm speaking in very broad brushstrokes, but in France, there's generally this idea that you should look like the best version of the age that you are. Pamela Druckerman best look you age Certain woman will be jealous of how skinny you are, no matter what's causing it. Pamela Druckerman woman you jealous matter In your 40s, you kind of know how things are likely to go, and you're better at saying, 'You know what? That just doesn't suit me...' I remember thinking in my 30s, 'I should go to Burning Man. I could be a Burning Man person.' And in my 40s, I'm like, 'You know what? I'm never going to go to Burning Man.' Pamela Druckerman me you man thinking Just do what you want more often. Don't be so worried about what other people expect. Pamela Druckerman expect you want people When I was 41, I had a very bad back pain, and it turned out to be Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Pamela Druckerman out bad back pain Although I wrote a book about infidelity around the world, I ended up concluding that fidelity is quite a good idea. Pamela Druckerman about good book world The question on my husband's birthday is always, What do you get for the man who has nothing? Pamela Druckerman you man husband birthday Usually, I'm so self-absorbed that my companion could be bleeding to death, and I might not notice. Pamela Druckerman self-absorbed notice companion death Just as dressing well in your forties entails making choices that reflect who you are and not just wearing generic basics, looking good as you get older requires accentuating and enjoying what's specific to you rather than striving for cookie-cutter perfection. Pamela Druckerman looking good you perfection When you're further along in your career, you probably have more money and more means; you have to stop yourself from giving your child too much. Whereas, if you're in twenties, you might just get by. Pamela Druckerman yourself child you money In the Nineties, there was all this new research into brain development, with evidence saying poor kids fall behind in school because no one is talking to them at home, no one is reading to them. And middle-class parents seized on this research. Pamela Druckerman parents brain home school I've got letters from all over the world saying what you're describing as American parenting is Chilean middle-class parenting, or it is Finnish middle-class parenting, or it is Slovak middle-class parenting. Pamela Druckerman saying you parenting world I'm not an early adopter. I'll only start wearing new styles of clothing once they're practically out of date, and I won't move into a neighborhood until it's fully saturated with upscale coffee shops. Pamela Druckerman clothing new start coffee Podcasts immersed me in colloquial English and put me back in the American zeitgeist. Pamela Druckerman english american back me