When things don't go right, go left Daniel Handler More Quotes by Daniel Handler More Quotes From Daniel Handler I was in a pharmacy and I saw the warnings on the backs of poisonous substances, and I thought, "Well, that's what I can do." So I wrote a list of ingredients in the book, and warnings that they shouldn't consume those ingredients. The editor and the publisher thought that it was a great way to go in terms of reverse psychology, but it honestly hadn't occurred to me that it was reverse psychology. I just thought that it was sort of an honest assessment making clear that if you were timid or easily disturbed, you could turn away. Daniel Handler assessmenteditorsbook Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something Daniel Handler hiding-somethingsiblingfighting It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. Daniel Handler proven-wrongprovepersons A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead. Daniel Handler lonelyjourneymen Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too. Daniel Handler sleeplovebelieve I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did. Daniel Handler long-nightsnightlong Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. Daniel Handler sadwantpeople Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation. Daniel Handler feel-betterhateuplifting Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so. Daniel Handler pleasantarguingsometimes It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches. Daniel Handler ice-creamsadnesshome If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!" Daniel Handler hopefuloptimismvoice If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning. Daniel Handler miserablefeel-bettermorning Lemony Snicket. Now, I'm told - the books, of course, starting from the very first one, became hugely popular, selling millions and millions. And I understand that when you used to go around to talk to your very young fans, you would appear as Lemony Snicket's representative or agent. Daniel Handler agentsfansbook People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents. Daniel Handler girlpeoplethinking I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor. Daniel Handler often-cancuttingdifferent The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused. Daniel Handler confusedhomemen Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good. Daniel Handler momentssometimestwo Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them. Daniel Handler tantrumsangerfun It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things. Daniel Handler darkdeathfall The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drift near each other when we need a ride from someone or when someone needs us to wash our hands. Daniel Handler adultschildrenhands
