When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you. Daniel Handler More Quotes by Daniel Handler More Quotes From Daniel Handler I don’t smoke, although it looks fantastic in films. But I light matches on those thinking blank nights when I crawl my route out onto the roof of the garage and the sky while my parents sleep innocent and the lonely cars move sparse on the faraway streets, when the pillow won’t stay cool and the blankets bother my body no matter how I move or lie still. I just sit with my legs dangling and light matches and watch them flicker away. Daniel Handler lonelylyingmoving I can see it, Ed, I leaned deeper into you, felt you nodding along with the sounds in the room, and your warmth signaled through to me from under your shirt, lovely strong, safe and right. Daniel Handler lovelystrongsound Love is candy from a stranger, but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you. Daniel Handler candystrangerlove-is Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon. Daniel Handler And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. "Love this song," Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio. Daniel Handler rocksnumberssong We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable. Daniel Handler comfortableoppositesneeds I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you. Daniel Handler wallwantlove-you We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love. Daniel Handler cookiesstoriesway If you try to avoid every instance of peer pressure you will end up without any peers whatsoever, and the trick is to succumb to enough pressure that you do not drive your peers away, but not so much that you end up in a situation in which you are dead or otherwise uncomfortable. This is a difficult trick, and most people never master it, and end up dead or uncomfortable at least once during their lives. Daniel Handler peer-pressuretryingpeople This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat. Daniel Handler terriblepeoplelooks Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up unless it looks like an ax murderer. Daniel Handler murdererringslooks Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth. Daniel Handler branchesmouthstree Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove! Daniel Handler evilsoundchildren The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them. Daniel Handler realstrugglechildren You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! Daniel Handler princessjealousdancing Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action. Daniel Handler circlesdoepeople Desperation is like a spilled drink; even if it's delicious, no one will get near it. Cultivate an aura of glamorous unapproachability. Daniel Handler desperationaurasdrink A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says. Daniel Handler girlboys Are you who I think you are? Daniel Handler thinking If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket. Daniel Handler casserolestowelsmountain-ranges
