When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome. Paula Poundstone More Quotes by Paula Poundstone More Quotes From Paula Poundstone I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen. Paula Poundstone dream house work I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. Paula Poundstone shoes paper silly I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television. Paula Poundstone mother kids school I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids. Paula Poundstone home kids firsts I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing. Paula Poundstone beautiful talking memories I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name and apparently that's the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess. Paula Poundstone keys mother names Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats. Paula Poundstone florida cat home I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do. Paula Poundstone alabama months done I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd. Paula Poundstone crowds talking night I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way. Paula Poundstone pie keys way I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. Paula Poundstone clever witty mean I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. Paula Poundstone sense-of-humor my-family watches I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out. Paula Poundstone work-out two kids There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them. Paula Poundstone way My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. Paula Poundstone fats skeletons skins The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage. Paula Poundstone garbage care together I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy. Paula Poundstone library community people When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out. Paula Poundstone voice giving school When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. Paula Poundstone party noise rain I happen to be a devout atheist. I don't believe in God. I still go to church -- I'm not a heathen. I go to an atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are. Paula Poundstone guy atheist believe
