When you have your health, you have everything. When you do not have your health, nothing else matters at all. Augusten Burroughs More Quotes by Augusten Burroughs More Quotes From Augusten Burroughs ...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting. Augusten Burroughs watches people interesting Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. Augusten Burroughs knows brain children You deserve to need me, not to have me. Augusten Burroughs deserve needs What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan? Augusten Burroughs tickets dare police The only other people who have had experiences similar to those of this man were locked up inside institutions for the criminally insane. The difference is, this guy gets business cards. Augusten Burroughs differences men people The most I would do was use the shadow tool in Photoshop to bring out the muscular rips in my stomach, which were honestly there. Beneath the fat. Augusten Burroughs rip shadow tools Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch the school bus because I knew I'd trip and then get teased for a year. Augusten Burroughs running years school I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page. Augusten Burroughs pages eye white You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool. Augusten Burroughs dream sky needs Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue. Augusten Burroughs tissues arms legs Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. Augusten Burroughs emotional real giving The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do. Augusten Burroughs scissors understood problem Truthfulness itself is almost medication, even when it’s served without advice or insight. Augusten Burroughs medication insight advice If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class. Augusten Burroughs serial-killer class tree Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make no mistake: you are alone in the world. You were born alone, even if you were born conjoined. And you die alone, unable to bring a single person with you. Augusten Burroughs mistake people world The truth is humbling, terrifying, and often exhilarating. It blows the doors off the hinges and fills the world with fresh air. Augusten Burroughs air blow doors I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate. Because we are all unique, but we're also simply too similar. Augusten Burroughs unique soul believe What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. I don't want some rusty '73 Ford Pinto with a factory-defective gas tank that causes it to explode when it's rear-ended in the parking lot of the supermarket. So why do I keep looking for Pintos? Augusten Burroughs coffee beach fall If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight. Augusten Burroughs willpower ready weight-loss But even with my minimal amount of fame, there are certain perks. Recently, I was at a movie premier, and at the party after the movie, Meryl Streep was loose, walking around the room like a normal person. Absolutely nothing was preventing me from lunging toward her and shrieking "Dingoes ate my baby! Dingoes ate my baby! Augusten Burroughs party baby rooms
