While a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well. Terry Pratchett More Quotes by Terry Pratchett More Quotes From Terry Pratchett They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be. Terry Pratchett alivelaughingbeach Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. Terry Pratchett long-agopiratedying Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it. Terry Pratchett physicscoupletree The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find. Terry Pratchett soaptruth-ispages At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe. Terry Pratchett importantfundamentalsscience She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?' 'I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for. Terry Pratchett bereavementgriefsorry Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate. Terry Pratchett stupidclevermen Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten. Terry Pratchett magicgood-luckscience I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry. Terry Pratchett chemistryexpertsbrain Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found a reason not to be. Terry Pratchett confidencepeoplelooks Winners never talk about glorious victories. Thats because they're the ones who see what the battle field looks like afterwards. Its only the losers who have glorious victories. Terry Pratchett victorywarpeace I try to make computers say things like You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance. Terry Pratchett distancesafetrying All property is theft, except mine. Terry Pratchett theftpropertymines Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce. Terry Pratchett taughtsaucefeel-better Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them. Terry Pratchett scythesskeletonsfeet Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack. Terry Pratchett finding-yourselfsomewhere-elseblood Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days. Terry Pratchett girldogrunning And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions. Terry Pratchett daddyherochildren Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge. Terry Pratchett badgesworst-nightmareslibrarian Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal.... The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it. Terry Pratchett togetheranimalaverage
