With my writing, I generally just pretend that no one's reading it. I allow myself that delusion so that I can write the things that I write. Roxane Gay More Quotes by Roxane Gay More Quotes From Roxane Gay I want to take the time to think through how I feel and why I feel. I don't want to feign expertise on matters I know nothing about for the purpose of offering someone else my immediate reaction for their consumption. Roxane Gay nothing feel think time I think one of the most important things we can do as feminists is acknowledge that, even though we have womanhood in common, we have to start to think about the ways in which we're different, how those differences affect us, and what kinds of needs we have based on our differences. Roxane Gay start think differences important Feminism is just an idea. It's a philosophy. It's about the equality of women in all realms. It's not about man-hating. It's not about being humorless. We have to let go of these misconceptions that have plagued feminism for 40, 50 years. Roxane Gay go equality women philosophy Throughout any given season of 'The Bachelor,' the women exclaim that the experience is like a fairy tale. They suffer the machinations of reality television, pursuing - along with several other women, often inebriated - the promise of happily ever after. Roxane Gay fairy-tale women experience reality Long walks on the beach are the supposed holy grail of a romantic evening. The beach becomes a kind of utopia - the place where all our dreams come true. Roxane Gay dreams evening romantic long I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. Roxane Gay i-am never princess long Pink is my favourite colour. I used to say my favourite colour was black to be cool, but it is pink - all shades of pink. If I have an accessory, it is probably pink. Roxane Gay pink say cool black Everyone else thinks I'm a nonfiction writer. I think it's because my nonfiction is easier to find. But I write both in equal measure. I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself, and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing. Roxane Gay myself think love world If we look too closely at many historical figures, we won't like what we see. Roxane Gay see like look historical This is the real problem feminism faces. Too many people are willfully ignorant about what the word means and what the movement aims to achieve. Roxane Gay achieve problem real people I support anything that broadens the message of gender equality and tempers the stigma of the feminist label. We run into trouble, though, when we celebrate celebrity feminism while avoiding the actual work of feminism. Roxane Gay celebrate equality support work I live in Indiana and teach at Purdue University, a wonderful school with some of the brightest students I have ever had the privilege of working with. My colleagues are powerful and intelligent and kind. The cost of living is low, the prairie is wide, and on clear nights, I can see all the stars in the sky above. Roxane Gay colleagues stars sky school As I started to think about how I can claim feminism while also acknowledging my humanity and my imperfections, 'bad feminism' simply seemed like the best answer. Roxane Gay best bad think humanity If you feel like it's hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren't the problem. Maybe it's just you. Roxane Gay feel you friends women I recognize that I'm human, and the older I get, the more I realize how fallible I am, how fallible we all are. Roxane Gay realize human i-am more No one is helped when cultural critics use their voices irresponsibly. Roxane Gay cultural voices critics use Most of the serious disagreement I get comes through email or social media, where people are more comfortable. Roxane Gay social-media media serious people You can't control the fact that you are born a white man or born into wealth. When people say, 'Check your privilege,' they're saying, 'Acknowledge how these factors helped you move through life.' They're not saying apologize for it. Roxane Gay you man life people