You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. Douglas Adams More Quotes by Douglas Adams More Quotes From Douglas Adams Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it. Douglas Adams hitchhiking paranoid said There is no problem so complicated that you can't find a very simple answer to it if you look at it right. Douglas Adams simple answers looks The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Douglas Adams video tasks believe We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem. Douglas Adams hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy reincarnation problem It is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with, on his first encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of continually stating and restating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "So this is it, we're going to die." His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this--"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working. Douglas Adams nice exercise brain and we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere … and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. Douglas Adams rocks guy intelligent Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. Douglas Adams truth answers impossible Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it. Douglas Adams hitchhikers-guide hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy penguins Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. Douglas Adams distance science lying He had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of “Zen” navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both. Douglas Adams getting-lost car successful Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end. Douglas Adams apples giving-up garden "I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing." Douglas Adams atheist giving men One is never alone with a rubber duck. Douglas Adams rubber-ducks rubber ducks The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm. Douglas Adams deep-thought answers two The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42! Douglas Adams deep-thought answers life Being virtually killed by a virtual laser in a virtual space is just as effective as the real thing, because you are as dead as you think you are. Douglas Adams space real thinking Some say that the universe is made so that when we are about to understand it it changes into something even more incomprehensible. And then there are those who say that this has already happened. Douglas Adams happened universe made Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone. Douglas Adams hitchhiking media want This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. Douglas Adams hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy hitchhiking thursday It is folly to say you know what is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears. Douglas Adams eye ears people