You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. John Oliver More Quotes by John Oliver More Quotes From John Oliver Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. John Oliver disappointcongresscapacity Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people. John Oliver eggsmorningpeople Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect. John Oliver biggersouthernpeople The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator. John Oliver mediahumanitytrying I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. John Oliver rangehorrorexpression I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things. John Oliver aggressiveaudiencepeople When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth. John Oliver doemenmean When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. John Oliver serious-subjectspressureknows The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. John Oliver genuine-concerntalkingpeople I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. John Oliver formbehaviorthinking I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. John Oliver voicepeoplethinking Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word. John Oliver congratulationslanguagemay I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! John Oliver knowinghometrying The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. John Oliver artisticqualityfeelings You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' John Oliver let-it-gotvsthinking Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. John Oliver flavourremembersometimes I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. John Oliver rhythmthinking Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. John Oliver slippersracistaustralia My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. John Oliver vowelslondonsound You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent. John Oliver racistsoundthinking
