You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it. Joseph Heller More Quotes by Joseph Heller More Quotes From Joseph Heller Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about. Joseph Heller delay worry order Yossarian decided to change the subject. "Now you're changing the subject." he pointed out diplomatically. "I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for. Joseph Heller being-thankful names two And anything worth dying for Joseph Heller sacrilegious dying military It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude. Joseph Heller ineptitude proud genius But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents. Joseph Heller parent war children Men went mad and were rewarded with medals. Joseph Heller medal mad men I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy. Joseph Heller crazy business country Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I? Joseph Heller fool military way Well, he died. You don't get any older than that. Joseph Heller died wells To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else. Joseph Heller tennis class ideas Actually there were many officers' clubs that Yossarian had not helped build, but he was proudest of the one on Pianosa. It was a sturdy and complex monument to his powers of determination. Yossarian never went there to help until it was finished; then he went there often, so pleased was he with the large , fine, rambling shingled building. It was a truly splendid building, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his. Joseph Heller rambling accomplishment determination I write longhand and I type and I rewrite on the typed pages. Joseph Heller type pages writing As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy. Joseph Heller crazy tears air All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive. Joseph Heller alive greek thinking Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur. Joseph Heller dread may discovery The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon. Joseph Heller maniacs promise I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me. Joseph Heller roots looks way The captain was a good chess player, and the games were always interesting. Yossarian had stopped playing chess with him because the games were so interesting they were foolish. Joseph Heller player games interesting I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning Joseph Heller knives dark night Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble. Joseph Heller air exercise opportunity
