You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer. Dov Davidoff More Quotes by Dov Davidoff More Quotes From Dov Davidoff Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach. Dov Davidoff feelings beach mean Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you. Dov Davidoff ends suicide ideas Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic? Dov Davidoff dating eye fall Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend. Dov Davidoff mets girlfriend Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time. Dov Davidoff writing blood thinking I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood. Dov Davidoff retreat spirit world People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time. Dov Davidoff interest care people Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it. Dov Davidoff salmon pounds nuts Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself. Dov Davidoff protect-you dog needs Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. Dov Davidoff nfl life-is needs Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift? Dov Davidoff definitions children world How can there not already be a rapper named 'O'pinion'? Dov Davidoff rapper I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate. Dov Davidoff cry hate firsts Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay. Dov Davidoff The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint. Dov Davidoff disappoint family people The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers. Dov Davidoff plastic entertainment flower If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor. Dov Davidoff reading hair book I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included. Dov Davidoff matter success people The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt. Dov Davidoff bugs hurt self Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. Dov Davidoff optimism fuel painful