You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? J. B. Smoove More Quotes by J. B. Smoove More Quotes From J. B. Smoove You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me. J. B. Smoove stuff-i-like classic character I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima. J. B. Smoove iwo-jima black people I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics. J. B. Smoove wells politics I’m trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don’t know if there’s any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul. J. B. Smoove moguls one-day trying It's not even race; it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang. J. B. Smoove type certain race My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest. J. B. Smoove just-being wife meat People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on. J. B. Smoove hollywood people Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print. J. B. Smoove entertainment police names My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. J. B. Smoove cleaning gardening house True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one. J. B. Smoove yankees fans player I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. J. B. Smoove painting acting believe I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that. J. B. Smoove flip roles want I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths. J. B. Smoove light character moving Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience. J. B. Smoove seven six men When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage. J. B. Smoove dosage babysitting kids A lot of comedians are selfish. J. B. Smoove comedian selfish It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies. J. B. Smoove ongoing black men Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy. J. B. Smoove dramatic comedy actors Women put guys through tests all the time. J. B. Smoove tests guy Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself. J. B. Smoove challenges writing believe
