You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited. Kevin Hearne More Quotes by Kevin Hearne More Quotes From Kevin Hearne You are telling me that your lawyer is a bloodsucking vampire? Kevin Hearne vampire lawyer Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me. Kevin Hearne coyotes journey said On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan Kevin Hearne freddy-krueger hello awards Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan Kevin Hearne screws Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life policies. Charlatan's with "godproof" armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But most notably, other gods. Kevin Hearne special house people I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently. Kevin Hearne stretching noise morning She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five. Kevin Hearne ecstasy embarrassment five The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it. Kevin Hearne sopranos hug sight I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes. Kevin Hearne turns kind philosophy I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in a little while I'll decide on what I want to put on my plate and chow down on. Kevin Hearne buffets want littles They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this. Kevin Hearne csi planets able Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You’ll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down. Kevin Hearne fire writing hands Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete! Kevin Hearne wells courses mother My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of me. It was like watching Rudolph get shot by Santa Claus. Kevin Hearne rudolph mouths thinking No, she knows you're here. She can see through the camouflage. But I think she's hiding something from me, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Never mind. Just listen. Once she drinks the tea, she will try ot surprise me with something. She is waiting for the contrast to be fully in effect before she says anything. I knew I never should have let you watch The Wizard of Oz. Kevin Hearne hiding-something should-have thinking Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me. Kevin Hearne sorry believe people You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first? Kevin Hearne sacrifice cat special Bullshit, as you Americans say. He's Irish. The Irish say bullshit too. Kevin Hearne bullshit Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning Kevin Hearne tall lightning blonde If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands. Kevin Hearne curator glands museums