I'd just written the book Ocean Of Sound, and this terrible thing happened in my life: my wife committed suicide. I was a single parent because of that; I was completely shattered. I had a book that I'd just finished that had been produced through a really, really terrible period, but I had managed to finish it.

David Toop

Categorized in : Book Suicide Ocean

Like a fly bouncing uselessly off a closed window, I'm caught at a moment when the effort of finding new ways to perceive the world feels just out of reach for me.

feels-just effort world

Dub music is like a long echo delay, looping through time...turning the rational musical order into an ocean of sensation.

echoes ocean order

Sound: always in a state of emergence or decay by David Toop

Sound: always in a state of emergence or decay

decay states sound

I had the idea to do an anthology about instrument-making. by David Toop

I had the idea to do an anthology about instrument-making.

anthology instruments ideas

The longer we live, the more we are obliged to confront the deepe... by David Toop

The longer we live, the more we are obliged to confront the deeper meaning of what it is we do.

deeper-meaning obliged deeper

Sometimes I'd like everybody who is stuck, or lost, or vacant to stay that way and keep silent for as long as it takes, but that's the critic in me talking.

talking long way

Being a critic is a terrific method for killing your love of art. by David Toop

Being a critic is a terrific method for killing your love of art.

killing criticism art

There's a sense of trajectories that are extraordinary about a life like this. You can reconnect with people and go back to playing with them after years and years of not even knowing if they're alive.

knowing people years

New ideas emerge of their own free will if they are allowed to. by David Toop

New ideas emerge of their own free will if they are allowed to.

new-ideas free-will ideas

If you run out of new ideas when you are very young, then it's a problem of talent; If you run out of new ideas when you get older, it may be that there's nothing left to say, or it may be that core ideas demand repeated attention.

demand running ideas

Logically there is nothing new to say about the New. Or maybe it's just a problem of articulating unfamiliar perceptions.

nothing-new perception problem

We [with David Cunningham] did do Top Of The Pops. It was an eye-opener. I mean, one of the things that was so interesting - I've talked about this a few times recently, and people can't believe it - they used to do this thing called tape switch with the Musicians Union.

eye mean believe

The Musicians Union declared you couldn't mime on Top Of The Pops, which is obviously impossible, if you've got a studio-based record that you'd worked on for a year or something. And there were a lot of terrible performances. Because on Top Of The Pops, you were just thrown onstage.

unions musician years

I guess we all had that work ethic. None of us were rock stars, so if you had time in a studio, it was a big, big deal: you're not going to sit around taking drugs and drinking and waste it, you'll do something.

rocks stars drinking

I was working in, being a single parent with a grieving child of five years old. It was horrendous. I couldn't go out much, because I had my daughter to look after. So people used to come round, and Tony Harrington from The Wire came round.

daughter grieving children

We drank quite a lot and Tony Harrington said, "We're thinking of starting a record label at The Wire; how about you do a solo record?" I said, "Well, how am I going to do that?" I thought about it, and I'd been working on a lot of music in the years before, and I was working as a journalist, full time, really, up until that point; in whatever little spare time I had, I was working on music. So I said yes.

wire years thinking

I needed a huge amount of energy to cope with my life. I had a huge amount of energy where stuff was concerned: it was as if all this unconscious material had been unleashed.

energy needed stuff

I do still have dips of confidence or [can think] everything I do... by David Toop

I do still have dips of confidence or [can think] everything I do is rubbish.

dip rubbish thinking

David's [Cunningham] a very interesting character. He has more integrity than is good for him. So, everything he did after that sort of undermined what he'd done. Other people who kind of took life more cheaply, would have really gone for it. David almost did everything he could to scupper the whole thing, which I very much admire, but of course it was deeply irritating then, because we wanted to make a bit of money! So we made this very catchy tune and then he added a bunch of weird stuff which was all very strange.

integrity character interesting

I was associated with the Artist Placement Group in the early 1970s and David Hall, the video artist, was an Artist Placement Group artist. I was completely broke at that time, and he said to me, "Come and do some teaching" - he was head of department at Maidstone College of Art. And I went and did a couple of teaching days and practically the only person who showed up was David Cunningham [Flying Lizard's main man], with all of this finished work

couple teaching art