It pays to get drunk with the best people. Joe E. Lewis More Quotes by Joe E. Lewis More Quotes From Joe E. Lewis I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount. Joe E. Lewis amount drink I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. Joe E. Lewis pills doctors tired I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. Joe E. Lewis drinking beer funny You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough. Joe E. Lewis living-once you-only-live-once life They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses. Joe E. Lewis medicine glasses needs I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks. Joe E. Lewis humor drinking funny I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves. Joe E. Lewis nerves money funny Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on. Joe E. Lewis gnarly maturity men You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something! Joe E. Lewis floats horse water I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin. Joe E. Lewis next alcohol men Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty. Joe E. Lewis drinking food dirty There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty. Joe E. Lewis one-thing poverty money I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. Joe E. Lewis play golf funny A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on. Joe E. Lewis drunk alcohol men It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money. Joe E. Lewis rich-or-poor money funny I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them. Joe E. Lewis chasing girl remember If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim. Joe E. Lewis sarcastic beer funny I drink to forget I drink. Joe E. Lewis ironic alcohol drinking Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel. Joe E. Lewis yankees steel baseball I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise. Joe E. Lewis bombs alcohol noise
