It's surely one of the strange phenomena of this decade that the most thoughtful gift you can bring a date is not flowers, chocolates, or ankle-length pearls, but a note from your doctor. Linda Sunshine More Quotes by Linda Sunshine More Quotes From Linda Sunshine My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time. Linda Sunshine sister sibling needs More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. Linda Sunshine sister sibling funny If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. Linda Sunshine funny-inspirational sister children I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren. Linda Sunshine motherhood family giving If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma." Linda Sunshine sister sibling funny Your sister is the only creature on earth who shares your heritage, history, environment, DNA, bone structure, and contempt for stupid Aunt Gertie. Linda Sunshine aunt sibling stupid I will not go out with a man who wears more jewelry than me, and I'll never, ever go to bed with a guy who calls me Babe. Other than that, however, I'm real flexible. Linda Sunshine dating real men If you're willing to travel, or just super-desperate, the best place in the world to meet unattached men is on the Alaska pipeline. I'm told that the trek through the frozen tundra is well worth the effect for any woman who wants to know what it feels like to be Victoria Principal. Linda Sunshine alaska dating men I could be a millionaire if I knew how to make stuff and wasn't afraid of electricity. Linda Sunshine electricity stuff thinking Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire brain surgeon criminal lawyer great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease. Linda Sunshine women simple jobs There are three very good reasons to travel: 1. See the world. 2. Meet new people. 3. Room service. Linda Sunshine room-service people travel Single people slip out of the dating market for many social, economic, psychological, and ideological reasons including marriage, illness, bankruptcy, job promotion, exhaustion, and common sense. Inevitably, however, they return because of divorce, boredom, loneliness, and memory loss. Linda Sunshine loneliness jobs memories Our mother's first gift to us comes at the moment we are born, because Mom, as she will subsequently remind us over and over, gives us the Gift of Life Like many of the gifts we receive from our mothers, the Gift of Life usually doesn't fit properly and is almost never returnable without a major hassle. Linda Sunshine mom mother giving After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down. Linda Sunshine cleaning stuff men Almost everything can be construed as sexual harassment depending upon the way it is said. One general rule of thumb is to think of your female co-workers as you would your sister. Yes, she is a woman. No, she is not a sexual object. Yes, your parents probably like her more than they like you. Linda Sunshine female parent thinking A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies. Linda Sunshine baking impossible food every one of us possesses a gene predisposing us toward rivalry, competition, and fits of envy with any past, present, or future siblings. Linda Sunshine envy sibling past Changing schools and friends is hard on children and can often make them desperate and lonely enough to form closer ties with a sibling. Linda Sunshine sibling lonely children Major fluctuations in weight gain and loss are detrimental to your health and embarrassing to explain to your friends and family. Linda Sunshine family-and-friends weight loss desserts are the most crucial part of any meal. Linda Sunshine dessert meals food
