Bob Saget Professions : Comedian Born : May 17, 1956 Browse All Authors Top 133 quotes by Bob Saget Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips. Bob Saget road-trip house long I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with. Bob Saget drink causes fighting The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more. Bob Saget guy people years I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show. Bob Saget comedy morning thinking In the creative sense, I'm looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work. Bob Saget looking-forward creative people I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house! Bob Saget waiting yesterday house Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person. Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack. Bob Saget light fire people And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing. Bob Saget turkeys cutting bird If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done. Bob Saget theory done messages I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin. Bob Saget penguins want people My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry. Bob Saget cry song thinking The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too. Bob Saget wine responsibility kids I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff. Bob Saget daughter mother fun My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure. Bob Saget being-insecure genuine insecure I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either. Bob Saget sick want world I become a chameleon for wherever I am. Bob Saget chameleon I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club. Bob Saget ivy kids school You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable. Bob Saget daughter girl mom You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you. Bob Saget who-your-friends-are lying Everyone I love I pay. Bob Saget pay Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
