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Quotes by Funny

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

A. A. Gill
beach funny lying
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. by A. A. Milne

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

A. A. Milne
witty inspiring funny
They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're... by A. A. Milne

They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them.

A. A. Milne
winnie-the-pooh-book winnie-the-pooh-inspirational funny

Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.

A. A. Milne
class witty funny
A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion. by A. A. Milne

A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion.

A. A. Milne
pet dog funny

All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality - the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape.

A. C. Benson
reading funny book

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

A. E. Housman
humor ignorance funny

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.

A. E. Housman
sarcastic air funny
Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one. by A. J. Liebling

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

A. J. Liebling
politics media-control funny

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

A. P. Herbert
anniversary life funny

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

A. P. Herbert
humor funny people

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

A. P. Herbert
humor men funny
A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put... by A. R. Gurney

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.

A. R. Gurney
dog friendship funny
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At le... by A. Whitney Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

A. Whitney Brown
humorous military funny
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian b... by A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown
hate sarcastic funny
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing... by A. Whitney Brown

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

A. Whitney Brown
laughter humor funny
It's Friday and I'm ready to swing. Pick up my girls and hit the... by Aaliyah

It's Friday and I'm ready to swing. Pick up my girls and hit the party scene.

Aaliyah
friday girl funny

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.

Aaron Swartz
inspirational funny book

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.

Aaron Swartz
life-changing inspirational funny

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Abba Eban
sarcastic war funny
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