Quotes by Funny I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath. A. A. Gill beach funny lying People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. A. A. Milne witty inspiring funny They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them. A. A. Milne winnie-the-pooh-book winnie-the-pooh-inspirational funny Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject. A. A. Milne class witty funny A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion. A. A. Milne pet dog funny All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality - the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape. A. C. Benson reading funny book Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time. A. E. Housman humor ignorance funny In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning. A. E. Housman sarcastic air funny Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one. A. J. Liebling politics media-control funny The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. A. P. Herbert anniversary life funny People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament. A. P. Herbert humor funny people The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'. A. P. Herbert humor men funny A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder. A. R. Gurney dog friendship funny Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. A. Whitney Brown humorous military funny I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown hate sarcastic funny That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you. A. Whitney Brown laughter humor funny It's Friday and I'm ready to swing. Pick up my girls and hit the party scene. Aaliyah friday girl funny Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void. Aaron Swartz inspirational funny book Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed. Aaron Swartz life-changing inspirational funny History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban sarcastic war funny 1234567891011»
