Emily Odesser

I think there’s this idea that high school bullying is like pushing someone into a locker and it wasn’t anything like that, i was kind of the ostracized one for whatever reason, there was just kind of this message always being spread along the group that I was unlovable, and I was unlikeable and I was ugly.

It never got to the point where I made any attempts or serious plans but I remember it was kind of this morbid obsession, when I was walking to school and I would see a car drive by me I would be like ‘Oh if I just go in front of that I can end this’, [or] I would see a knife in the kitchen and be like ‘If I just use this I could end it.’.

I found a lot of my community online when my friends were treating me badly, i would go on Tumblr and Instagram. You can ask questions and someone messaged me once when they were considering suicide, talking about my experiences, that was the start of it all.

It’s been a normal part of my life, I’ve been experiencing it for a while, I don’t even really like to use the word suffering but there was a lot of trauma for me in middle and high school that came at the effect of bullying and I’m still going through those to this day.