Joseph Burgo

The winner-loser dynamic is at the heart of extreme narcissism, and the narcissistic parent is somebody who plays that game through their children, they are the ones who are driven to create children who are winners, and not only are they winners, but they're better than other people's kids, and they will, in conversation, bring things up. They will bring up accomplishments, which schools their kids got accepted to, how much money they're earning, in order to make you feel bad -- your kid is less than them.

The very fact that you're asking yourself that question, you are way ahead of the game, that's what is needed. Just a healthy amount of self-reflection. It's the parents who don't realize that, who don't stop and ask themselves and then just start getting overly invested in their child being better than some other student.

It's often a parent who feels that he or she has not achieved what she wanted in her own life, what (on) some level feels like a failure.

If you challenge them, they'll engage in battle and they'll have to win, so you might just make yourself a target.