Kathleen Madigan Professions : ComedianBorn : September 30, 1965 Browse All Authors Top 10 quotes by Kathleen Madigan I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?' Kathleen Madigan givingpeoplethinking The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody. Kathleen Madigan scarecallingpeople Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride! Kathleen Madigan cutekidschildren I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people. Kathleen Madigan rockswaitingpeople I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes. Kathleen Madigan shoescollegeyears I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage. Kathleen Madigan waitingstuffwriting I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another. Kathleen Madigan goaldreamthinking I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like to figure them out from afar, narrow a case down, figure it out, but it sounds like a lot of science. Kathleen Madigan psychologyofficepeople Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me. Kathleen Madigan writingmeanpeople People entertain me more than I entertain them. Kathleen Madigan people Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedianAll Authors
