Lea DeLaria Professions : Comedian Born : May 23, 1958 Browse All Authors Top 16 quotes by Lea DeLaria It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. Lea DeLaria understand-me mystery men As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room. Lea DeLaria girl trying world My mother said to me, 'Why do you have to call yourself a dyke? Why can't you be a nice lesbian?' 'Because I'm not a nice lesbian, I'm a big dyke.' Lea DeLaria dykes nice mother A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing. Lea DeLaria ridiculous emotion girl They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved! Lea DeLaria vegas gay men No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago. Lea DeLaria choices responsibility years Learn all the rules... then break them. Lea DeLaria break What do you mean, you "don't believe in homosexuality?" It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary. Lea DeLaria easter mean believe It's not that I don't like penises. I just don't like them on men. Lea DeLaria men It's really not enough to just have black women. A really good idea could be to comment on how they are treated by society. Lea DeLaria black enough ideas Guns don't kill, people do. Lea DeLaria gun people Never point at anything beige and call it cool. Lea DeLaria Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works. Lea DeLaria flirting girl want Because I'm not a nice lesbian, I'm a big dyke! Lea DeLaria dykes bigs nice My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It's the intent behind them that is what's important. Lea DeLaria important hero ideas I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world! Lea DeLaria feel you man world Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
