Michael McIntyre Professions : Stand-up comedianBorn : February 21, 1976 Browse All Authors Top 9 quotes by Michael McIntyre I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm slightly worried he's trying to escape. If his next word is passport we are in serious trouble! Michael McIntyre carwittybaby My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no surprises...1 George Clooney...2 Brad Pitt etc...I thought 'Ive got the better deal here'...1 Your sister Michael McIntyre sleepwittypeople There are only two conditions where you’re allowed to wake up a woman on a lie-in: it’s snowing or the death of a celebrity. Michael McIntyre snowtwolying Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel. Michael McIntyre weatherwittysnow They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon Brown phoning up going 'pass the salt' Michael McIntyre spainwittythinking I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker. Michael McIntyre shelveswittymean So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face. Michael McIntyre nicemotherwitty I have over 50 for this Saturday class and approximately the same amount for the Sunday class, and I normally have approximately seven, we actually had two people buy guns here who were actually in the Walmart on the day of the shooting. The other people are just saying, 'Hey, you know I want to be able to protect myself in the event of something going on.'. Michael McIntyre us-news One out of a hundred is a fire, the other 99 will run off. Michael McIntyre us-news Similar Authors Brandon T. Jackson stand-up-comedian Amy Schumer stand-up-comedian Bob Newhart stand-up-comedian Al Murray stand-up-comedian Bernie Mac stand-up-comedian Ben Elton stand-up-comedianAll Authors
