Troy Holtorf

I think there’s a lot of hurting brothers and sisters on the fire department, many of whom we don’t know about, i think firemen tend to keep things in, tend not to talk about it a whole lot. It’s our pride; it’s what we’re wired to do…I think you take enough hits, your armor gets some chinks in it and all of a sudden it wears you down mentally.

I think it’s the power of the mind, if you’re constantly seeing things, all that stuff’s up in your brain, if you don’t get it out, you’ll cope with it in other ways and we’ve seen that with firemen. Suicide is definitely a real thing, especially with first responders. So, I’ve learned personally just to talk. Just be open, be honest.

When you put on the full armor of God, it’s just like putting on a full set of turnouts, you have a helmet, a shield, a jacket—which is like a breastplate, a pair of pants, boots, you have a shield—which is the shield of faith, your sword—which is the Word of God—is kind of like your pipe puller, your ax.

As a first responder, we do see a lot of stuff and it does affect us, we’re the first ones to help a complete stranger but we’re the last ones to help ourselves.

We have praise and worship. We do a lot more, too. We actually go out and serve the community. We have a trailer with event barbecues and any time a firefighter or police officer gets hurt or injured, we’ll go and do fundraisers for those events to help raise money for the families.