Quotes by Comedian I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy. Gabriel Iglesias tv-shows comedian guy That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home. Gabriel Iglesias comedian home people I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo. Gabriel Iglesias comedian differences air Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed. Gabriel Iglesias comedian tvs goal I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy. Gabriel Iglesias comedian i-can wanted I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on... Garry Marshall comedian clubs writing I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy. Gary Gulman comedian people thinking My interest in magic was kindled by Steve Martin, the comedian I'd gone to high school with. Gary McCord comedian magic school I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is. Gavin McInnes comedian want people I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this. Gene Wilder comedian magic directors I'm not very funny in real life. I used to want to be a comedian when I was 13, 14, 15, till I saw "Death Of A Salesman" with Lee J. Cobb and Mildred Dunnock. Gene Wilder comedian real want If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. George Burns comedian littles laughing It's good to be funny when you are a comedian. George Lindsey comedian I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public. George Carlin comedian worry believe Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast. George Carlin comedian nice ideas Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking George Carlin comedian eye people The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. Gilbert Gottfried comedian given pressure Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.' Gilbert Gottfried back-when comedian clubs I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again. George Carlin comedian sorry two By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin second-best comedian honesty «1112131415161718192021»