Quotes by Dad My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha." Christopher Titus dadhusbandmom My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour. Christopher Titus dadmombeer My dad invented road rage. He wasn't the first guy to get mad in the car, but he was first guy to get mad enough to make the paper. Christopher Titus madcardad My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12 black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch! Christopher Titus dadmommorning My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly. Christopher Titus dadtruthhurt My mum is in a mental hospital. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Winston Churchill, Mozart, John Lennon. These people all had a touch of crazy that fuelled their brilliance. They were not locked up for it like my mum. Pft. Then again, Winston Churchill never tried to kill my dad. Christopher Titus dadcrazypeople If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with the people whose lives it's going to affect. Like George Washington, had to get all those guys who the British killed to agree to die. Neil Armstrong, had to crank a couple of elbows into Buzz Aldrin's face mask to make sure he got on the moon first. And Christopher Titus, well, he worked his dad for five grand. Ha ha. Who can't support who ? I know, it's complicated. Christopher Titus dadcouplemoving My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect. Christopher Titus supportdadencouragement Every weekend, I would get the drunk driving lecture. Of course, Dad drank and drove all the time. I guess it wasn't a lecture; it was helpful tips from the master. Christopher Titus drunkweekenddad A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes. Christopher Titus dadthreetails I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night. Christopher Titus dadnightlying My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night. Christopher Titus dadbeerfather I swore I would never get involved in my dad's life. But then he started blowing it. So I had to get involved, you know, but he's my dad, I can't send him to his room or ground him or go to his first grade play and scream, "Look at the fairy!" I was a wood nymph. Christopher Titus nymphsdadplay If you ask my dad for help... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time. Christopher Titus dadtexasrunning Of course, here's the weird part. After I fought my dad, all of a sudden we're buddies now. Like he's my friend now, we start hanging out. But we're still the same people. So we'd go out on Sunday, you know, and just be hanging out, then he'd, like, pick a guy, and we'd just go beat the crap out of that guy as a team. Memories, huh? Christopher Titus dadteammemories To be successful in life, there are many hurdles you have to get over. For me, the biggest hurdle to success has always been failure. But, growing up, my Dad was always positive... that I'd never amount to anything. Christopher Titus growing-updadsuccess Your first leader is your dad. 'course he controls your food and shelter, so, he's not really a leader, he's more of a fascist dictator. But dictators have dreams too. Your dad doesn't. He gave them up when he had you. So remember that next time you say, I don't want to cut the lawn. Just shut up and mow the grass and save the lip for your teachers. Christopher Titus daddreamteacher Dad is a new person. A person who has learned that forgiveness is better then revenge. Next year, we'll teach him that heart attacks are not like women. You just can't keep having them! Christopher Titus dadrevengeheart They had a big court battle over who got to keep me. Mom won; she made me live with Dad. Christopher Titus dadbattlemom Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind. Christopher Titus dadpowerfulhurt«2728293031323334353637»
![](https://service.weibo.com/share/share.php?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband-yeah-my-dad-used-to-say-hey-dodged-that-bullet-ha-ha&appkey=&title=Christopher Titus quote: My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dod...&pic=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-f1b08451b3cf342bb9aae2e3aff5ed64.jpg&ralateUid=&language=zh_cn){kind=link}
![](https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband-yeah-my-dad-used-to-say-hey-dodged-that-bullet-ha-ha&description=My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha."&media=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-f1b08451b3cf342bb9aae2e3aff5ed64.jpg){kind=link}
