A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx More Quotes by Groucho Marx More Quotes From Groucho Marx Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to Groucho Marx differenceswifehome I love to read. My education is self-inflicted Groucho Marx self-inflictedlove-to-readself The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old Groucho Marx inspirationgamesplay Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it. Groucho Marx runningchildrenyears There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man. Groucho Marx inspirationdrinkingmen She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. Groucho Marx partyinspirationlife The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. Groucho Marx wittylifefunny How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. Groucho Marx hilarioussarcasticfunny With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now Groucho Marx inspirationwishlong Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. Groucho Marx crazysillyfunny Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx laughterwittyfunny I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. Groucho Marx sarcasticfunnybook Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx crazypeacefunny John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight. Groucho Marx confusedwittyfunny There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement. Groucho Marx chicagocitiesneeds Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. Groucho Marx horsecrazyfunny Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you. Groucho Marx sarcasticfunnythinking Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself Groucho Marx inspirationwishhands Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose. Groucho Marx wisdomrose
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