A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids by joining social networking sites. Jimmy Fallon More Quotes by Jimmy Fallon More Quotes From Jimmy Fallon Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, 'I like people that weren't captured.' Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over. Jimmy Fallon hero war people The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.' Jimmy Fallon dog yesterday running Despite Russia's move to raise interest rates this week, the value of the ruble has continued to crash. Russia's economy is so bad, Edward Snowden had to put government secrets on Craigslist. Jimmy Fallon russia government moving Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.' Jimmy Fallon ben-carson teeth liberty Today Google celebrated its 13th anniversary.... That's right, Google turned 13 years old. Which explains why today when I searched for something, Google was just like, "I don't know. Stop asking me questions! I'm going upstairs. Jimmy Fallon google asking years Researchers in the U.K. have developed a vegetable called "super broccoli" designed to fight heart disease. Not to be outdone, researchers in America have developed a way to stuff an Oreo inside another Oreo. Jimmy Fallon fighting vegetables heart This week, a 95-year-old woman married a 98-year-old man to become the world's oldest newlyweds. They're registered at Bed, Sponge Bath and Beyond. Jimmy Fallon age men years A new study found that students who are taught abstinence end up with better math scores. Of course, if you join the math team, the abstinence takes care of itself. Jimmy Fallon care team math Halloween is tomorrow. A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say, "White wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and ... we're alcoholics, aren't we? Jimmy Fallon halloween wine white Steven Spielberg is going to release a biopic about Abraham Lincoln next year. Right, that's a good way to honor Lincoln by sending people to the theater. Jimmy Fallon funny people years A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade. Jimmy Fallon pride zoos funny I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun. Jimmy Fallon nashville fun men If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet. Jimmy Fallon tvs want people We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph. Jimmy Fallon mph air men In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing. Jimmy Fallon potholes moon new-york Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House. Jimmy Fallon isis winning men Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. Jimmy Fallon childhood wish sometimes There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always talking about their joints. Jimmy Fallon marijuana talking retirement President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights. Jimmy Fallon technology names night After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?' Jimmy Fallon yoga mean people
