A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead. Groucho Marx More Quotes by Groucho Marx More Quotes From Groucho Marx Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Groucho Marx horse sarcastic funny I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for a living. It?s arduous work and the money is very uncertain. On those rare occasions when I wander into a bookstore it amazes me to see the avalanche of literature and semi-literature that is turned out weekly in this country. The people who write these things are either desperate for money or love starved. Why should anyone on a nice balmy day lock oneself in an office and hit a typewriter for hours on end. I think one of the greatest pleasures in the world is not writing. Groucho Marx nice writing country Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses. Groucho Marx humorous witty funny Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise. Groucho Marx agriculture love funny Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. Groucho Marx new-york witty funny Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read. Groucho Marx turns tvs rooms Was that you or the duck? Groucho Marx ducks Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have? Groucho Marx firefly money war You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff. Groucho Marx humorous witty funny Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast. Groucho Marx aspirin clown wells All geniuses die young. Groucho Marx humorous witty funny Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid. Groucho Marx maids hey mean If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Groucho Marx apples sauce doe The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh? Groucho Marx humorous witty funny That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus Groucho Marx circus three luck I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book. Groucho Marx reading writing book There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one. Groucho Marx mustache black men I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. Groucho Marx humorous witty funny I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx