All I ever wanted to do is make people laugh. Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes From Jerry Seinfeld That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill. Jerry Seinfeld nervous skills natural I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!" Jerry Seinfeld leather-jackets rain doors You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each. Jerry Seinfeld feet kids people I like definitive things. Jerry Seinfeld The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing. Jerry Seinfeld car real writing We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it. Jerry Seinfeld kind country world I'd like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment. Jerry Seinfeld car bridges air Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination. Jerry Seinfeld nominations golden oscars My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this. Jerry Seinfeld wife daughter house Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it. Jerry Seinfeld groups organization men I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks. Jerry Seinfeld chinese funny people Festivus for the Restivus! Jerry Seinfeld Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964. Jerry Seinfeld humorous new-york funny I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me. Jerry Seinfeld hamburgers dream night I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man! Jerry Seinfeld freaking-out Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with. Jerry Seinfeld torture blessing life-is These pretzels are making me thirsty! Jerry Seinfeld pretzels thirsty Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. Jerry Seinfeld important-things important inspirational What the hell, I'll just eat some trash. Jerry Seinfeld eclairs gymnast hell A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence. Jerry Seinfeld existence laughing sex
