All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money. Norm MacDonald More Quotes by Norm MacDonald More Quotes From Norm MacDonald Few people love with the violence they hate. Norm MacDonald hate love people The soul is never perfectly secure from the influence of passion; the occasional tranquility she seems to enjoy, is rather relaxation than imperturbable triumph. Norm MacDonald passion soul relaxation If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it. Norm MacDonald merit praise desire Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices. Norm MacDonald principles practice Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious. Norm MacDonald disappointment expectations promise Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap! Norm MacDonald albums years jesus If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault. Norm MacDonald faults criticism bears I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it. Norm MacDonald roles actors people I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest. Norm MacDonald guests would-be night If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious. Norm MacDonald comedian political television Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied. Norm MacDonald ignorance Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship. Norm MacDonald dangerous worst enemy I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away. Norm MacDonald guy doe television You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the motion of the ocean, it's the boat of the lotion.' I've even heard variants..., it's not the tree or the size, it's the axe that you wax.' It's a whole sub-genre of poetry now that's taught in many of our finer institutions. Norm MacDonald guy ocean sex I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology. Norm MacDonald style independent technology A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season. Norm MacDonald time giving men In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness. Norm MacDonald aptitude advice giving Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion. Norm MacDonald advice giving men It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins. Norm MacDonald ruins adversity desire The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death. Norm MacDonald death cheating past
