Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. Jasper Fforde More Quotes by Jasper Fforde More Quotes From Jasper Fforde Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head. Jasper Fforde technologybooklooks If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution. Jasper Fforde reallifebook Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough. Jasper Fforde mindmistaketrying After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more. Jasper Fforde readinghealingsummer If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Jasper Fforde realbookworld She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe. Jasper Fforde rest-of-lifeelderlyexpectations Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom. Jasper Fforde shoesone-dayfall Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time. Jasper Fforde all-timefashiongovernment If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong. Jasper Fforde passionhateart Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction. Jasper Fforde extinctioncatfriendly Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix. Jasper Fforde oil-and-wateroilwater For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert. Jasper Fforde expertsoppositesscience If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad. Jasper Fforde simpleifs Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath. Jasper Fforde essencestoriesneeds Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse. Jasper Fforde excusecauseswar Acceptable rules of conduct were suspended when it came to the spoon shortage. The deficit had gotten so bad that prices were all but unaffordable, and dynastic spoon succession had become a matter of considerable interest. Spoons were even postcode engraved and carried on one's person to eliminate theft, and good table manners, one of the eight pillars upon which the Collective was built, had been relaxed to allow tea to be stirred - shockingly - with the handle of a fork. Jasper Fforde pillarseighttea Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it. Jasper Fforde eventsflowgiving the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe Jasper Fforde believelyingpeople Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. Jasper Fforde teatimefirsts The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition. Jasper Fforde simplicitylifelong
